Things I don’t get


I don’t get men who were their floppy polo neck shirt collars up. I don’t get gangsta rap. I don’t get people who name Dirty Dancing as their favourite film. Or George W. Bush supporters. Or people who think the world was made in 7 days and is only 6,000 years old. I don’t get very overweight girls who wear really tight midriff tops; guys who drive around in bright yellow ‘modified’ cars playing loud doof-doof-doof music; shops that use price stickers that don’t come off; property developers; those trucks and bikes with advertising signs attached to them that drive around the city; skywriters; fundamentalist Christians; people who only read magazines and not books; people who borrow books and don’t return them; people who talk really loudly in restaurants; parents who think that ignoring their kid when it has a public tantrum is good parenting; fluffy toys on car dashboards; Oprah Winfrey; Starbucks coffee drinkers; people who don’t drink any form of alcohol just because they got pissed on Southern Comfort and threw up once when they were 15; Australian Idol; water features; greed; waiters who think being rude to you will somehow put them above you even though they would get much more respect by doing their job well; pokie machines; nightclub bouncers; people who buy a house next to a pub that’s been there for twenty years and then complain so much about the noise that the pub has to close; the bullshit sincerity of late night infomercials; and the fashion for pastel T shirts with bad graphics that look as though they all came out of the same factory. I don’t get forcing your beliefs on others. Or people who talk in cinemas.

What do you not get?

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. anaglyph
    Jan 31, 2005 @ 17:10:41

    The little stickers they put on fruit. I mean, DO THEY THINK WE CARE?

  2. anaglyph
    Feb 03, 2005 @ 11:21:33

    Spoilers on the backs of cars. WHY? Scientifically speaking, they only have significant effects on the drag of a car if you’re doing phenomenal speeds, well in excess of the speed limit. Otherwise they just add more mass.

  3. anaglyph
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 12:37:07

    That thing where blokes drive along with one arm dangling out their driver-side window. Dear reader – if this is you, it doesn’t look cool. IT LOOKS REALLY STUPID!

  4. Universal Head
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 18:28:07

    Personalised numberplates. Why? Whhhhhhhyyyyyy!!!???

  5. anaglyph
    Feb 14, 2005 @ 15:37:00

    Leaf blowers. Especially when they are wielded by fat guys who look like they could use a good workout with a broom.

  6. anaglyph
    Feb 15, 2005 @ 08:13:10

    The way builders start at 7am, making an incredible racket with their pneumatic hammers until you’re well and truly awake, and then stop at 8am and don’t make any noise for several more hours…

  7. UniversalHead
    Feb 15, 2005 @ 09:27:13

    People who spoil their children unbelievably as a toddler, then are surprised when the child grows up into a selfish little horror.

  8. UniversalHead
    Feb 15, 2005 @ 09:30:47

    Of course: automated answering machine systems. Especially the ones that keep repeating “your call is important to us” while you wait for twenty minutes to speak to a human. Then you get answered by someone who listens to you recite your entire problem, then puts you on hold for another fifteen minutes until you’re answered by someone to whom you have to repeat the whole problem again. All company executives should be forced to contact their companies through these systems to understand how annoying they are.

  9. UniversalHead
    Feb 15, 2005 @ 12:44:19

    The bastards at TV networks who think that splitting the screen into three during the credits so more advertising can be squeezed in was a good idea— and the inventor of increasingly intrusive advertising along the bottom of the screen during the programme.

  10. steelbuddha
    Mar 02, 2005 @ 06:46:18

    I don’t get people who are afraid of computers, to the point that they won’t attempt even the simplest unknown tasks without someone holding their hand.